2 Samuel 13: Amnon and Tamar
1 After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” 5 So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’ ” 6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”
“Amnon, David's firstborn son was the child of Ahinoam a woman of Jezreel whom David married while he was still a fugitive from Saul.” (Coffman Commentary) Solomon was called to be king. Normally, Amnon would be called to lead the family in doctrine and practice. But it seems that he was taken away in lust and had no regard for Torah. “It is strictly forbidden by law to have relationships with a sister or half-sister (Lev 18:9; 20:17). The fact that ‘it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her’ does not mean that he has any sense of respect for her [nor God].The sequel shows that for him she is nothing more than a lust object. That it seems hard to do anything to her perhaps means that it is impossible for him to come to her, because she lives, because she is a virgin, in the women’s enclosure.” (G. De Koning)
“’Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab… Now Jonadab was a very crafty man.’ (3) We learn from 1Chr. 2:13,1 Samuel 16:9; 17:13 that Jonadab was the son of David's brother… Shammah, making him a cousin of Amnon. In the real sense, he was no `friend' whatever of Amnon, because his advice led to Amnon's rape of his half sister and his murder by Absalom.” (Coffman Commentary) “It was an infamous passion, and the suggestion of Jonadab, if it was any reflection of his father’s character, would show why the Lord had said of Shammah, ‘Neither hath the Lord chosen this,’ 1 Samuel 16:9 .” (F. B. Meyer)
7 And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” And they all went out from him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. 11 Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.”
12 But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! 13 And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.
Amnon then executed the evil plan. But she answered, ‘No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel.’ —etc. “‘This is a verbal quotation from Genesis 34:7; and the natural inference is that Tamar knew this passage in Genesis and wished to profit from the warning it contained.’[Albert Barnes] This is only one of literally hundreds of instances which we have cited in our commentaries which collectively afford the most overwhelming proof that every book in the O.T. from Joshua to Malachi is written within the shadow of the Book of Moses, commonly called the Pentateuch.” (Coffman Commentary)
“‘Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.' - It cannot be inferred with certainty from this that marriages were usual among half brothers and sisters in the time of David. The Levitical law forbade them, and Tamar may have merely wished to temporize. On the other hand, the debasing and unhumanizing institution of the harem, itself contrary to the law of Moses Deuteronomy 17:17, may well have led to other deviations from its precepts, and the precedent of Abraham Genesis 20:12 may have seemed to give some sanction to this particular breach of it.” (Albert Barnes) “The story that unfolds is a tale of frustrated teenage lust. Evidently Amnon had no desire to marry Tamar, which he probably could have done with David’s consent (cf. Genesis 20:12). [Note: Anthony Phillips, "NEBALAH-a term for serious disorderly and unruly conduct," Vetus Testamentum 25:2...] The grisly episode is very contemporary and requires little clarification.” (Dr. Thomas B. Constable)
Of Abraham- “Besides, she actually is my sister, the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother, and she became my wife.” (Genesis 20:12)
‘’Then Amnon hated her exceedingly.’ etc. (15) So the tide of Potiphar’s wife’s passion turned on Joseph. (Genesis 39:17) He did not want marriage but sex. “In Amnon's case the sudden revulsion is easily accounted for; the atrocity of his conduct, with all the feelings of shame, remorse, and dread of exposure and punishment, now burst upon his mind, rendering the presence of Tamar intolerably painful to him.” (Jamieson, Fausset, Brown) “‘Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel.’ (18a) For that which was of various colours or pieces, in those days was greatly esteemed, Genesis 37:3, Jud 5:30.” (Geneva Study Bible)— “‘And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her.’ (18b) Then he was left to himself to face the bitter trauma of an accusing conscience.” (L. M. Grant)
Tamar “had to tear her beautiful robe with which the king's virgin daughters were clothed, put ashes on her head in token of humiliation and mourning, and went away crying bitterly (19). How tragically sad is the fact of the great number of young women who have been similarly humiliated by the cruelty of wicked men! Absalom, her full brother, discerned immediately what had happened. He did not apparently show any anger. His character was more cold and calculating. He tried to quiet Tamar by telling her to forget it. But he himself did not intend to forget it, but to recompense Ammon in his own way.” (L. M. Grant)
“’But when King David heard of all these things, he was vert angry.’ (21) — “But the punishment ended in mere words.” (Joseph Sutcliffe) To this verse the Septuagint add the following words:… ‘But he would not grieve the soul of Amnon his son, for he loved him, because he was his first-born.’ The same addition is found in the Vulgate and in Josephus, and it is possible that this once made a part of the Hebrew text.” (Adam Clarke) “‘And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad,’ i. e. he said nothing at all to him, to wit, about that business. It is a synecdochical expression, used in like manner, Genesis 31:24. He neither debated it with him, nor threatened him for it; but seemed willing to cover it, and pass it by with brotherly kindness. For if he had wholly forborne all discourse and converse with him, it would have raised great jealousies in Amnon and David, and hindered him in his intended and desired revenge.— ‘For Absalom hated Amnon’ (22); or rather, but, or though Absalom, as the Hebrew particle chi commonly signifies; for the following clause is not added as a reason of the former, but by way of exception or opposition. ‘Though he outwardly expressed no dislike of the fact, yet he inwardly hated him.’” (Matthew Poole)
“The gloss of the Septuagint is likely to be correct, that David left unpunished the incest of Amnon with Tamar, although committed under peculiarly aggravating circumstances, on account of his partiality to him as being his first born son. This indulgence on the part of his father may also account for the daring recklessness which marked Amnon’s crime. But a doting father, smitten with moral weakness, might find in the remembrance of his own past sin an excuse for delay, if not a barrier to action [let him repent]; for it is difficult to wield a heavy sword with a maimed arm.” (History of Judah and Israel)
“And it would seem [and soon manifest] that Absalom’s anger was not only directed at Amnon, but at the king himself, because he had not given Tamar justice.” (Peter Pett)
2 Samuel 13: Absalom Murders Amnon
23 And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24 Then Absalom came to the king and said, “Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant.”
25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you.” Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him.
26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.
28 Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, “Watch now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon!’ then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant.” 29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled.
30 And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left!” 31 So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. 32 Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, “Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead.”
David was the supreme human judge in Israel. Absalom, being a son, was made a prince, particularly of the province of Geshur. The other sons were given different provinces and estates. But instead of role as prince of a province, he begins to play the part of judge of Israel.
It was time to shear the sheep. Times such as these, including the reaping of the harvest, were times of celebration in Israel. So, there was a feast of Absalom’s sheep shearers, to which it was custom to invite the neighbours and relatives of the family. (Adam Clarke) "Had David thought back he would have remembered the sheepshearing celebrations of Nabal to which he was not invited (1 Samuel 25). That too had ended in a death. But he had no cause to think that any such thing would happen at Absalom’s sheepshearing, for in his complacency he no doubt thought that all was again at peace within his family.” (Peter Pett)
Amnon didn’t really have the rights of firstborn, for the Levites had replaced the firstborn in the days of Moses (Num 3:12). It had become more of a corporate mission of the church in the wilderness to maintain doctrine and the faith of the patriarchs from generation to generation.
But after the sin against Uriah the Hittite, I believe that David felt that the faith of the fathers had to be preserved from inside the household unit. We must not only take our children to church but we must lead them by example at home. Amnon had failed but not to the extent that David himself had…. and it sounds like he was on a short leash. Perhaps in the spirit of the patriarchs, David kept his eldest son, Amnon, close to him to teach him, as Jacob first did with Joseph… and as he later did with Benjamin, when he thought that Joseph was dead.
“’And it came to pass, after two full years,” etc.(23) “This long delay clearly marked the murder as premeditated and indicated Absalom's ambition as much as any concern for his sister's honor.” (The New Layman’s bible Commentary)— “that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim.”— Baal-hazor was apparently the name of Absalom's estate.” (The Pulpit Commentary)— so Absalom invited all the king’s sons (23) as well as the king (24). But the king personally turned down the invitation. “Then Absalom said, “‘If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us,” that is “the first-born, as thy representative.” (Thenius) He did not initially allow it, but then agreed to it.
“Absalom's inability to induce King David to attend his feast might actually have frustrated Absalom's plan to kill David himself and all of the king's sons and take over the kingdom. Such a possibility, of course, is only a conjecture, but there was some urgent reason why Absalom so passionately desired the king's attendance. The sudden flight of all the king's sons immediately after Amnon's murder indicates that they recognized Absalom as a potential murderer of all of them.” (Burton Coffman)
“Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, “Watch now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon!’ then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant.’ It seems that he thought he was heir apparent. But
the second oldest was Kileab (or Daniel) whose mother was Abigail from Carmel. It is not known what happened to this Daniel.
So perhaps he was next if the Succession of Kings in Israel of was by age alone. But the particular calling that Absalom sought belonged to Solomon. It was revealed by the word of the LORD to David after the birth of son, saying, “You have shed much blood and have made great wars; you shall not build a house for My name, because you have shed much blood on the earth in My sight. Behold, a son shall be born to you, who shall be a man of rest; and I will give him rest from all his enemies all around. His name shall be Solomon, for I will give peace and quietness to Israel in his days. He shall build a house for My name, and he shall be My son, and I will be his Father; and I will establish the throne of his kingdom over Israel forever." (1 Chron 22:8-10)
Despite the word of the Lord, Absalom was saying, don’t be afraid —“Am not I the next heir to the crown? and so shall be able both to secure you and reward you.” (John Trapp)
The servants of Absalom carried out the evil plot. Surely he would have subsequently commanded the slaying of the other brothers, if they had not fled on the mules that they rode to the event. And it came to pass, while the surviving sons of David were on the way to the palace, “that news came to David, saying, ‘Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left!’ So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn.” “Lamenting, as he that felt the wrath of God on his [entire] house, 2 Samuel 12:10.” (Geneva Study Bible)
But then the actual news of the coup arrived or Jonabab—Amnon’s friend— who was privy to the plot answered and said, “Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead.” “Wicked Jonadab, the instigator of Amnon’s crime, appears again and acts as comforter of the king.” (Arno Gaebelein) “Reader! remark the friendship of this Jonadab to Amnon. He knew, it seems, that Absalom had intended the death of Amnon for two full years together, and yet had never communicated the matter to his friend Amnon. Such is the world's friendship!” (Hawker’s Poor Man’s commentary)— “For by the command of Absalom,’ as the sheep of Absalom would lose their wool, so David’s firstborn, the potential shepherd of Israel would lose his life." (Youngblood) This had been determined from the day of Amnon’s sin against Tamar (32)
Why had David not acted? It is altogether possible that Amnon had secured his own atonement by the blood of the Lamb, as David had. Regardless, David alone had the right to execute judgment in Israel.
2 Samuel 13: Absalom Flees
34 Then Absalom fled. And the young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there, many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him. 35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Look, the king’s sons are coming; as your servant said, so it is.” 36 So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking, that the king’s sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also the king and all his servants wept very bitterly. 37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.
“Absalom immediately fled. (34) He was now as much afraid of the king's sons as they were of him; they fled from his malice, he from their justice. No part of the land of Israel could shelter him. The cities of refuge gave no protection to a wilful murderer. Though David had let Amnon's incest go unpunished, Absalom could not promise himself his pardon for this murder; so express was the law in this case, and so well known David's justice, and his dread of blood-guiltiness. He therefore made the best of his way to his mother's relations, and was entertained by his grandfather Talmai, king of Geshur.” (Mathew Henry) Geshur— "a province belonging, at the time..., to Syria, 2 Samuel 15:8. It was on the northern border of Bashan, and adjoining the province of Argob. See Deuteronomy 3:14; Joshua 12:5. ‘…If a man can only reach it, no matter what may have been his crimes or his failings, he is safe; the officers of government dare not follow him, and the avenger of blood even turns away in despair....’ (Porter)..."(Whedon's Commentary)
“’And King David longed to go forth unto Absalom.’ Some translations, taking into account their own translation of 2 Samuel 14:1, and David’s later strong affection revealed towards Absalom (2 Sam18:33) read, ‘And the soul of David longed after Absalom.’ But that is not the obvious meaning of the words, and is contradicted by the fact that even when he returned David would not see him or permit him into his presence.” (Peter Pett) It is better rendered thus, “He made an end of going out (to wit, in an hostile manner, as that verb is oft used, Genesis 14:18; 2 Samuel 11:1) against (for so the Hebrew particle el is oft used, as Jeremiah 34:7; Ezekiel 13:9,Ezekiel 13:20; Amos 7:15)…. Thus the same verb, and that in the same conjugation, is used in the same manner, 1 Kings 3:1, he made an end of building.” (Matthew Poole) “Presumably messengers had passed between the two courts arguing the case from the point of view of two royal families. The emphasis is thus on the fact that David did not continue to pursue his attempts to have Absalom brought back for punishment because he had got over the death of Amnon, and recognised that Absalom had had justice on his side.” (Pett)— “‘For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.’ I think that this is good evidence that Amnon had repented of his sins. As the child of adultery against Urriah, Amnon could not come back, but David would go to him in Sheol and await the proper resurrection.
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